


Smoke Screen

by Danica_Dust



Series: Seasons of Secret Sighs [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Episode: s02e18 Hollywood Babylon, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Kissing, SPN Swan Song Bingo, Season/Series 02, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 04:51:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20924471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danica_Dust/pseuds/Danica_Dust
Summary: SPN Swan Song Bingo: Season 2 - Hollywood Babylon (episode)Dean finally gets what he wants but it might not be what he really wants after all.





	Smoke Screen

When Tara Benchley invited him back to her trailer, Dean thought all his dreams about her were about to come true.

And they did—in a way.

The moment they entered her trailer, Tara pounced on him.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her professionally toned body against his as she pulled his lower lip between her teeth, sucking hard.

Dean hid his surprised flinch by placing his hands on her waist. His grip tightened reflexively when she then claimed his lips in a bruising kiss, moaning into his mouth.

Dean moved a hand to cradle Tara’s head, trying to gentle the kiss. To slow down and savour.

But Tara responded by nipping his lips and her hand travelled south to his crotch, where she palmed his half-risen cock, stroking it through his jeans.

Apparently, the horror film star liked things a little rough between the sheets.

_So much for savouring,_ Dean mused.

Trying to catch up to Tara’s pace, Dean threw himself into the hot-and-heavy mood that his favourite horror actress was giving off. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and Dean was not about to blow it—figuratively anyway.

He nipped and sucked and grasped in return, giving as good as he got.

When Tara unbuttoned his jeans and lowered the zipper, dropping to her knees, Dean didn’t protest. His partial erection rose further under her mouth and ministrations.

It felt good. Tara was skilled. And yet, Dean found himself losing interest, his mind wandering as she worked him. His gaze strayed from the sight of her to the awards decorating the wall opposite them while she worked his cock to full mast.

No moans, groans, or other sexual vocalizations. Just… staring.

_What’s wrong with me today?_ he asked himself.

He didn’t have an answer.

When Tara was satisfied with the state of his cock, she rose to her feet and tugged at his shirt, urging him towards the bed.

She removed her clothes in a slow strip tease that Dean visually appreciated, but failed to make his heart race or his breath to quicken.

Dean followed suit, stripping down himself, mentally scolding himself. _Come on, Dean_, he told himself. _Get a grip. Here is a gorgeous woman in front of you. The actress of your dreams! Don’t make an ass out of yourself._

Tara leaned back on the bed and beckoned with a crook of her finger. “Come on over, P.A. My person requires assistance.”

Dean summoned a dashing grin and climbed onto the king-sized bed. When he reached Tara, however, she gave his shoulder a firm push, moving him to lie back on the mattress as she maneuvered herself on top of him.

Straddling him, Tara took full control and Dean submitted to it. She grasped his cock in her hand, giving it a squeeze and finally ringing a groan out of Dean, who lay his head back on the pillow.

“Ready?” Tara asked, grinning wickedly down at him as she positioned herself over him.

Dean nodded, apparently unconvincingly, because Tara then asked, “What’s wrong?”

Dean mentally slapped himself.

“Absolutely nothing,” he said with a roguish grin. Tara still frowned, so he added, “Let me prove it.”

Then, he gripped her hips and tossed her to the side. She bounced on the mattress only once before Dean was hovering over her, spreading nips and licks down her neck, collarbone, and lower down her body.

When he lifted his head, Tara was grinning at him. “That’s more like it,” she said with satisfaction.

And Dean continued to prove it to her until that satisfaction was all she felt and any thoughts of his early hesitance was wiped from her mind.

Dean was exhausted. Physically and mentally.

_But the sex wasn’t even that strenuous!_ he scolded himself.

Yet, there he was. He was lying on his back on Tara’s bed as she cleaned up in her trailer’s bathroom, and he was exhausted.

He had given Tara his all. And she had been amazingly fierce and responsive. And he had come. Twice.

Tara was satisfied. His dream of having sex with her was fulfilled. He should be dancing with euphoria right about now.

Instead, he was just lying there, not really feeling anything.

A sigh of frustration escaped him, unheard by anyone but himself.

When Tara emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a blue robe, Dean roused himself from the bed and snatched up his clothes to get dressed.

From where she leaned against the trailer wall, Tara watched him with an amused smile, combing her fingers through her hair.

He gave her a half-hearted reverse strip tease, then headed for the trailer door with his jacket in his hands.

Tara followed him to the door.

Dean emerged from her trailer, shrugging on his jacket and smiling without any emotion behind it back at her as she watched him leave.

As he descended the steps, however, his head turned to see Sam standing by the door, and the fake smile dropped from his face. He stepped onto the ground and turned, finishing putting on his jacket in the process.

When he was facing the trailer again, he spotted Tara standing in the entryway and gave her a nod and a small smirk.

“You’re one hell of a P.A.,” Tara said, biting her lower lip and she smiled down at him.

Dean gave a her another smile in return, yet glanced away awkwardly as Sam looked on. “Thank you,” he said.

_For fuck’s sake, _he said to himself. _Thank you?_

Tara glanced at Sam. “Hi,” she said.

Sam shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable.

Dean, completely done with the exchange, began walking away.

_Please don’t say anything,_ Dean begged silently.

He snatched a sandwich on his way and waved it at Sam.

_Just an ordinary day,_ he thought. _Nothing to see here._

Thankfully, Sam didn’t say anything.

They were in the Impala and Sam was deep into a book about something or other. As Dean drove, he reluctantly thought about what had just happened.

The only explanation he could come up with for his… _detachment_ when it came to carnal pleasures recently, derived from what he had witnessed between Sam and Madison.

He wasn’t jealous. Nothing like that.

But… he figured, perhaps, that maybe, just maybe, he envied the instant connection that the two of them had shared. That bond, though short, had been strong enough that even Dean himself had shed a tear on Sam’s behalf when his baby brother, with tears in his own eyes, had shot her in the heart.

Maybe that was his problem. After the slew of one-night stands for most of his life, he suddenly wanted that connection with his partners.

He wanted a… _lover_.

As for why his traitorous heart was suddenly insisting on such a requirement, he could only guess. Hunters faced their own mortality on a nearly daily basis. That was nothing new. But he and Sam seemed to have been getting more than their fair share recently. _(Mostly thanks to Gordon, that psycho.)_

And their father… Dean could admit to himself, even if he hid the worst of it from Sam, that their father’s death had hit him hard.

So maybe that was it. His psyche trying to tell him to settle down and get away from all the death surrounding them.

Well, fuck his psyche. Screw his heart and its stupid-ass wish for a lover instead of a one-night stand.

Because it wasn’t going to happen.

Lovers didn’t last for people in his line of work. He knew that first hand. That kind of connection wasn’t in the cards for him.

So, Dean would just suck it up and tough it out. Like he always did. He would be there for Sam, and he would make sure his brother could have anything he desired from life.

And if that was the only thing Dean ever accomplished in his own life, he would die happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the creators/mods of SPN Swan Song Bingo!  
And so many thanks to thefandomsinhalor for being my beta!


End file.
